A Blog by Jonathan Low


Dec 31, 2017

How Blockchains Go Well With Cocktails. And Everything Else

Bubble? Nah. You just don't get it...JL

Matt Levine reports in Bloomberg:

Long Island Iced Tea Corp. is shifting its corporate focus towards investment in opportunities in blockchain technology. With the shift in strategic direction, the Company is changing its name from “Long Island Iced Tea Corp.” to “Long Blockchain Corp.” and has reserved the web domain www.longblockchain.com. (It) had an equity capitalization of $23.8 million, but that  was up more than 500% in pre-market trading. What distinguishes (it) from other juice, sports-bra, e-cigarette, or whatever companies that have pivoted to blockchain and seen their stocks jump?Go home, blockchain, you're drunk.
Well here's a press release:
Farmingdale, NY , Dec. 21, 2017 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) -- Long Island Iced Tea Corp. (NasdaqCM: LTEA) (the “Company”), today announced that the parent company is shifting its primary corporate focus towards the exploration of and investment in opportunities that leverage the benefits of blockchain technology. In connection with the shift in strategic direction, the Company has approved changing its name from “Long Island Iced Tea Corp.” to “Long Blockchain Corp.” and has reserved the web domain www.longblockchain.com. The Company intends to request Nasdaq to change its trading symbol in connection with the name change. The Company will continue to operate Long Island Brand Beverages, LLC as a wholly-owned subsidiary and maintain the focus of this business on the ready-to-drink segment of the beverage industry, specifically, premium, ‘better-for-you’ brands marketed at an affordable price.
Long Whatever had an equity market capitalization of $23.8 million as of yesterday's close, but that was before this morning's press release, which I imagine will send it soaring. (It was up more than 500 percent in pre-market trading at about 9 a.m. today.) What distinguishes Long Quizzical Look from the other juice, sports-bra, e-cigarette, or whatever-else-you've-got companies that have recently pivoted to blockchain and seen their stocks jump? I hope its blockchain is longer? Long Exasperated Sigh "is already in the preliminary stages of evaluating specific opportunities involving blockchain technology," including potentially acquiring "a blockchain software developer building blockchain infrastructure for the financial services industry." Yes! Definitely! It is totally normal and sensible to have a public company whose two lines of business are (1) building critical software infrastructure for regulated financial companies and (2) marketing "Long Island Iced Tea." That is how companies work, 100 percent. Banks are always going around saying "I like the security features of your software system but I just wish you also offered a jokily named beverage, and your blockchains could be a little longer." Finally someone is addressing the problem.
Look, this is a daily stupid occurrence. Everyone gets the joke by now. Presumably
zero of the people who bought Long Moan Of Unspeakable Agony in pre-market trading today are like "oh yes I like the look of their blockchain plans." Presumably zero of those pre-market traders are rubes who arrived at the blockchain bazaar a minute ago and piled into the first stock they saw. Presumably all of those people are buying because they expect to find bigger rubes to sell to. The "Silly Company Becomes Silly Blockchain Company" thing has become a self-referential meme; everyone knows that everyone is buying because they expect everyone else to buy. Is it a metaphor for cryptocurrency more broadly? I don't know, but it does not seem like an especially healthy market.
Ugh did you know that Long Nightmare From Which I Am Trying To Awake makes non-alcoholic "Long Island Iced Tea"? I am going back to bed.


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