A few days ago, I took my daughter to the big water park in Marietta,
Georgia, just outside Atlanta. It's called Whitewater, and I take her there
every year, on Labor Day weekend, at the end of summer. I take her there not
just for the "rides," which in most cases aren't really rides at all, but slides
that combine water and gravity in varying proportions, and so pack a pretty
elemental wallop.
I take her for the lines.
See, you have to wait in line when you go to Whitewater — or, for that
matter, any other water park. It's like Disney that way, or any of the other big
amusement parks that traffic in the ability to wring screams from even the most
jaded customers. The distinctive thing about waiting in line at Whitewater,
however, is that you have to wait in line without any clothes on. You have to
wait in line wet and semi-naked, in close proximity to hundreds of other wet and
semi-naked people. That's why the lines at Whitewater are not simply preludes to
the Whitewater experience, not simply inconveniences to be endured before you go
down a big blue slide that calls itself a "flume": The lines at Whitewater
are the experience. They're a vision not just of democracy in action but
democracy unveiled, a glimpse of what the last line is going to look like, when
all is revealed, and we're waiting for our interview with Saint Peter.
And let me tell you, it ain't pretty.
I have seen some things, at Whitewater. I have seen the American enormity and
I have seen — it almost goes without saying — enormous Americans. I have seen
the obese, the augmented, the implanted, and the steroidal. I have seen boobs
the size of butts, and butts the approximate size of bumper cars. I have seen
stretch marks in geographic profusion, and every kind of scar, from every kind
of delivery system — the sinkholes left by bullets, the crenellations left by
knife, the apocalyptic lightning left by scalpel and surgical saw. I have seen
people
comparing scars, to while away the time. I have seen piercings in
Babylonian profusion, and nail art in colors found not in the rainbow but rather
in boxes of Froot Loops. And I have seen tattoos — oh, Lord, I have seen
tattoos. I have seen devils and angels, Satan laughing and Christ Jesus weeping;
I have seen people who have turned themselves into walking tombstones, sporting
memorials for the dead, and the etched images of departed loved ones, both human
and canine; I have seen soldiers who will never escape their inked dogtags,
scholars and patriots with the Declaration of Independence written on their
backs, and endless scrolls of text rendered illegible by time and known only to
those who wear them on their skin. I have seen every form of erotic invitation
and advertisement, not just tramp stamps but entire tramp field maps, and
mothers of three and four and five with cobras and Tasmanian devils arising from
their bikini bottoms. I have seen all the evidence I need that America, far from
being a Christian nation, is at heart a pagan one, with democracy, at last,
turning into a preference for the most personalized decoration.
But here's the thing about waiting in line at Whitewater, here's the lesson
that you learn from the spectacle of America in the raw: It works. When my
daughter gapes and marvels, I tell her that human beings come in all shapes and
sizes, and it's an explanation that seems to satisfy her because it's
inescapable. When I hear the censorious voice in my head saying that the woman
in front of me shouldn’t be wearing that bikini, I go on to draw the only
conclusion that the evidence all around me permits: that no one should, and that
therefore everyone can. Going to Whitewater is like bathing in the Ganges, with
chlorine and funnel cakes — and also with the elemental difference that not
everyone is poor, lowly, untouchable, an outcast. Rather, everyone is quite
simply American, and so the line slouches and stumbles forward, the very
definition of a mixed blessing — a blessing mixed black and white, rich and
poor, slovenly and buff, and so on down the line. It can be slow going, it can
be frustrating, but people have no choice to make the best of it, so they talk
to one another, they gripe amusingly, they laugh, they compromise, they endure,
and they scream when they finally go down a water slide whose initial pitch
approaches 90 degrees. No one cuts, or tries to; the line works because for all
its inherent and exhibitionistic imperfections it keeps its promise of equal
access, and, by God, it moves.
At least, it used to. I've been taking my daughter to Whitewater for the last
five years, and over the last two the place has changed.
Apparently, an Englishman named Leonard Sim took his family to Disneyland a
few years ago, and his vacation was ruined by waiting in line. He invented
something called the Flash Pass, and then sold it to an English company called
Lo-Q — as in "Low Queue" — which contracted it to Whitewater. So now, when you
go to Whitewater and many other American amusement parks, you pay for parking
($15, at Whitewater), and then for admission ($37.50, for any human being over
48 inches tall), and finally for a locker ($16), and then, once you're inside,
you can pay an extra $30 for a "standard" Flash Pass or $40 for the "gold." And
then you can cut the lines.
It sounds like an innovative answer to the problem that everybody faces at an
amusement park, and one perfectly in keeping with the approaches currently in
place at airports and even on some crowded American highways — perfectly in
keeping with the two-tiering of America. You can pay for one level of access, or
you can pay for another. If you have the means, you can even pay for freedom.
There's only one problem: Cutting the line is cheating, and everyone knows it.
Children know it most acutely, know it in their bones, and so when they've been
waiting on a line for a half-hour and a family sporting yellow plastic Flash
Passes on their wrists walks up and steps in front of them, they can't help
asking why that family has been permitted the privilege of perpetrating what
looks like an obvious injustice. And then you have to explain not just that they
paid for it but that you haven't paid enough — that the $100 or so that you've
ponied up was just enough to teach your children that they are second- or
third-class citizens.
It wouldn't be so bad, if the line still moved. But it doesn't. It stops,
every time a group of people with Flash Passes cut to the front. You used to be
able to go on, say, three or four rides an hour, even on the most crowded days.
Now you go on one or two. After four hours at Whitewater the other day, my
daughter and I had gone on five. And so it's not just that some people can
afford to pay for an enhanced experience. It's that your experience — what
you've paid full price for — has been devalued. The experience of the line
becomes an infernal humiliation; and the experience of avoiding the line becomes
the only way to enjoy the water park. You used to pay for equal access; now you
have to pay for access that's more equal than the access afforded others. The
commonality of experience is lost, and the lines are striated not simply by who
can pay for a Flash Pass and who can't; they're also striated by race and class.
The people sporting the Flash Passes are almost exclusively white, and they tend
to be in better shape than those stuck on line. They tend to have fewer tattoos,
and to look less, well, pagan. And by the end of the day, they start cutting
lines where Flash Passes don't even apply — because they feel entitled to — and
none of them, not even their kids, will so much as look at you.
On the way home, of course, my daughter asked why we couldn't get
Flash Passes. I answered that we couldn't afford it, but that wasn’t the real
reason. The real reason is that I liked the people who were waiting on line
better than I liked the people cutting in front of it — that I couldn't
imagine counting myself among those paying for the pleasure of stepping
in front of another child who might be as sensitive to slight as my daughter.
And that's what I was thinking on Tuesday night, as I walked around the
Democratic National Convention here. I ask myself, often, why I bother with the
Democrats — and why I still care about a presidency that has been reliably
feckless at home and irredeemably ruthless abroad. But politics is less about
the power of policy than it is about the power of people — a measure, at last,
of our associations. It's still tribal that way, and the people I saw on Tuesday
night at the DNC were my tribe — they looked like the people you see on line at
Whitewater, with clothes on. And the people I saw at the RNC looked like the
people cutting in front, by dint of the gold plastic bracelets on their wrists.
This is not to minimize the power of policy but rather to say that policy is
driven by preferences we can barely bring ourselves to understand. Both parties
have used their conventions to speak endlessly of preserving opportunity, and
very often it sounds like they're addressing the very same thing. But Mitt
Romney was born with a Flash Pass on his wrist, and he can't help but conceive
opportunity as the opportunity to walk to the front of line — to either pay for
it or to dream of being able to pay for it some day. The Democrats can't help
defining opportunity differently: that everybody will have an opportunity to get
to the front, if everybody waits. It's not a particularly popular solution, and
a lot of people who regard waiting in line as the problem will ask what ideas
the Democrats have for solving it. But they miss the point:
Democrats don’t have particularly innovative ideas for moving to the front of
the line because for Democrats the line
is the idea — because, as anybody
standing half-naked on it can tell you, the line is America itself, and it only
stops when you allow people to pass it by.
1 comments:
In the long run, a college degree can be a wise investment because it can greatly increase one's earning potential and employment options. Using LAW assignment writing services can guarantee academic success and lay a solid basis for future accomplishments for students looking to get the most out of their investment.
Post a Comment